Stealth vs F1 : Which is actually faster

Everyone has, at some point, stood in a long theme park queue and wondered about something completely pointless.

We know you have too!

This summer, while waiting for Stealth at Thorpe Park, me and the TPD crew somehow ended up debating a very serious question: what is actually faster — Stealth or an F1 car?

Well, as hardcore thoosies, there was only one thing to do: research it, build a model and find out.

For our slightly ridiculous race, I've put Stealth up against the 2025 F1 World Championship-winning car driven by Lando Norris. Both start from a standing start and have to follow the same basic route: launch, climb to the top of Stealth's 205ft top hat, get around the curve and make it back down to the bottom of the hill.

There is one fairly significant problem. An F1 car can't drive vertically, so I modelled a separate track for it, following the same route but with a climb and descent at an angle the car could actually drive. It still has to reach the same height, make the same curve and cross the same finish line.

And the two machines couldn't be more different.

Stealth uses an Intamin hydraulic launch system. Instead of relying on a conventional motor to gradually accelerate the train, hydraulic accumulators store huge amounts of pressurised fluid and release that energy almost instantly through hydraulic motors. The result is one enormous shove that takes Stealth from 0 to 80mph in around 1.8 seconds.

An F1 car has a completely different weapon: a turbo-hybrid power unit combining its V6 petrol engine with electric power. It is phenomenally quick, but getting all that power onto the track from a standing start still depends on tyres, traction and the surface.

So, lights out. GO GO GO!

THE LAUNCH — ABSOLUTE CINEMA!

Stealth absolutely sends it.

After one second Stealth is roughly 10–15 metres ahead of the F1 car. At two seconds, it has stretched the gap to around 25–30 metres and has already reached its 80mph launch speed.

This is peak Stealth.

It also got me thinking: have Lando Norris, Lewis Hamilton or Max Verstappen ever ridden Stealth?

If they haven't, there is a very funny possibility that thousands of thoosies and unsuspecting theme park visitors have experienced a harder initial launch than three of the greatest F1 drivers around.

But Stealth's advantage doesn't last forever.

At around three seconds, the F1 is starting to eat into the gap. Stealth is now climbing, converting its speed into height, while the F1 car is still accelerating. In my model, the gap is down to around 10 metres.

By four seconds, the F1 has caught it and is approximately 5 metres ahead.

The coaster has gone from comfortably winning to chasing.

THE CURVE

This is where the F1 car starts to look seriously quick.

Stealth has to climb almost vertically to the top of that 205ft tower, and gravity is absolutely not interested in helping. Its speed falls dramatically as the train converts its launch energy into height.

The F1 car takes a longer, shallower route, allowing it to keep accelerating and carry much more speed through the climb.

Lando's McLaren reaches the top first and has the lead as both vehicles negotiate the curve.

For a moment, it looks like the F1 has absolutely rinsed the OG launch coaster.

But Stealth has one more trick.

THE DROP

As Stealth tips over the top, gravity changes teams.

The energy that was slowing the train on the way up is now accelerating it back towards the ground. Stealth starts gathering speed rapidly as it dives down the 205ft drop.

The F1 car is also heading downhill, but its route is longer and it still has to follow the curve of its track.

Stealth starts hunting.

By halfway down, the F1 is still ahead in my model, but the gap is shrinking quickly. Stealth is now flying, and by the bottom it has recovered almost all of the speed it lost on the climb.

And then they hit the finish.

SO, WHO WINS?

Lando in his McLaren F1 gets to stand on the top step of the podium, but only just.

F1: approximately 11.5 seconds

Stealth: approximately 12.0 seconds

That's a gap of only around half a second.

And honestly, that's far closer than I expected when we started this stupid debate in the queue.

The F1 car wins because it can maintain much more speed through the climb and take a more efficient route around the top. Stealth loses a huge amount of time fighting gravity on the way up, before using that 205ft drop to claw its way back into the race.

And after all that...

The F1 car wins by roughly half a second.

Despite the result, it's pretty damn cool that Stealth beats an F1 car off the line and manages to hold its own over the full course. And somehow, ending this debate has made me love Stealth even more!

Next Week... Mandrill Mayhem vs a pack of Mandrills with jetpacks ;)